Grand Designs.

Made the Mad Axeman and the Timber Haulers had done their thing so the next step was to come up with a plan! Some serious designing was required. Suggestions came thick and fast. A stronger, longer ladder. A loo with a view. A captain’s chair. Even a water slide! You name it, it was suggested.

So after scrapping some of the less practical suggestions, out came the set squares, protractors and sharp 2H pencils and the drawing commenced. Now I may have mentioned that my knowledge of boat building was limited to something you could fold from paper and float in the bath, as a result, the task of designing a sodding great 15 metre wooden boat was somewhat daunting.  Nevertheless, after a couple of weeks and much head scratching, a reasonable facsimile of a set of plans were produced.

Construction Crew Consultation.

Meanwhile, Pak Nyoman had found our trusty boat builder, the incredible Pak Gandy.  We were formally introduced and I humbly submitted my design.  The boat captains, led by Pak Lombang, boat builders and various hangers on all peered at the plans and there was a long silence. The suspense was killing me. Cigarettes were passed round, cups of coffee consumed, various aspects of the design were pontificated over and, after what seemed an eternity there was a mass nodding of heads. At last the verdict was pronounced.

“Bagus!”

Then the plans were neatly folded and …….never, ever looked at again!

Boatyard in the Jungle.

There just remained the question of where the boat would be built.  For some unfathomable reason, the location for our boatyard was in the jungle, nearly 200 meters from the sea!  I did question this choice but was reassured that this was a very fortuitous site, approved of by the deities of boat builders.

There was one other slight problem.  Because rainy season was in full force,  workers, timbers and tools would soon end up soaking wet and like my wet suit, ever so slightly mouldy! So a suitable tent had to be built.  Therefore the greenery was cut back, bamboo sacrificed to the cause and a spidery structure was erected, covered in canvas and lashed to nearby trees. Finally the finishing touch was the installation of the temple and that was it, we were ready to go!

In our next thrilling instalment, “Pak Gandy scribbles in the sand!”

How To Build  A Boat!

When we bought World Diving in 2005 we knew that the original Big Boat was getting close to retirement age and that a new boat would have to be found.  This was evident by a couple of facts.  First, the water in the bilge was slopping over the deck boards! Second, the daylight that could be seen through cracks in the hull!

After much scratching of heads and long discussions we decided to build a new one!

We consulted our expert in all things boat like, Pak Lombang and he said,

“Kayu! Harus adah kayu kuat! Saya adah banyak!” Loosely translated this means, you need strong wood. I have lots in my garden. What he failed to mention is that it was still alive and growing!

The Hunt for Wood!

So, Pak Made was sought after as he had the largest chain saw on the island. This thing was a beast!  It had a blade over a metre long with the most vicious chain you have ever seen.  This was the Mad Max of island saws!

So off we ventured into the jungle, also known as Pak Lombang’s garden. At this stage, Sue and I were having qualms about hacking down trees, but we were assured that these trees were on Pak lombang’s land and had been planted with boat building in mind.

Suitable trees were identified and duly dispatched by Made’s rusty Stihl.  Then came the truly terrifying part. Making sure that he had his protective footwear firmly in place, flip flops with a thick sole, and his eye protectors on, copy RayBans from Kuta, Mad Made started sectioning the trees into suitable lumber.  This involved standing on the tree trunk and using this vast chain saw with a somewhat loose chain to saw thick baulks of wood with his feet either side of the cut. At this stage we walked away!

Needless to say, everyone else was perfectly comfortable with the levels of health and safety being followed by our heroic hacker and Made even proudly showed off his ten toes at the end of the day!

Finally, all the required wood had been cut and sectioned and was then stacked up to dry for a month. Then came the next challenge.

“Pak John, we need a plan, design the boat!” an interesting concept as my boat building expertise to date had involved nothing more challenging than playing Pooh Sticks!

In the next thrilling installment, “Shipyard in the Jungle,” Johnny Makes A Plan!